THE SCARIEST DAY OF MY LIFE!

Sorry for the long blog, but I don't want to forget this day.
So, the day started out fine. I had woken up to a little bit of a cold and sore throat, but not too big of a deal, and had some shopping to do for Katelyn's bday. So, I went to pick up Austin from his cousins house in Mesa (he had spent the night at his cousins house for his bday party). I knew that Austin was going to be exhausted, but I was in town already, so I decided to just drag him along with me to get my errands done.
We went to 2 stores, had some lunch, went to another 2 stores, and everything was going great. We got home about 2:45ish, and Katelyn and Tyler had been out helping Jeff plant our garden, and they were exhausted. I knew that Austin was also tired, so I laid Tyler and Katelyn in bed, and asked Austin to lay down for a while, and take a nap. He got very upset, (mostly because he was so tired), and told me no, and was being very bratty. I told him very nicely, that he wasn't going to be able to go to any more sleep overs if this was how he was going to act when he came home. He came un-glued, and yelled at me, and called me a "bad mom".
Well, I finally snapped (mostly because, by now, I was tired and didn't feel well), and I should have just let him cry himself to sleep....but I didn't. I said, fine, you don't want to take a nap, and think I'm a bad mom after the fun day we had, see ya. Just go (me holding the door open, and pointing outside.) Well, let me say that Jeff was in the front yard, and Austin enjoys helping his dad in the front yard. I wasn't kicking him out, I was just saying "stay outside with your dad, and get out of my hair for a while, and let us both cool off."
Now, there are different versions of what happened outside, depending on who you ask. Jeff says that all he told Austin was that he can't treat/talk to me that way (sticking up for me)....and Austin thought Jeff said he couldn't stay here anymore. (It's very difficult to know how an 8 year old processes things, did he not hear him right, or just misunderstand??? who knows), but in Austin's mind, he thought that he would be obedient, and leave. So he started walking away from the house. Jeff was in the garage, and thought Austin had come back in the house. I happened to be checking in on Katelyn when I looked out her window, and saw Austin walking down the street. I had just changed into some comfy clothes, so I went and put my jeans and tennis shoes on, and went after him, thinking I would only be a few minutes behind him, and that he couldn't have gotten that far.
I walked all over our neighborhood and never saw him. Then I came home, and got my car, and drove through our neighborhood again, and couldn't find him. I thought maybe he was upset, and hiding somewhere. I looked everywhere, and asked everyone at parks if they had seen him. No one had. Then Jeff woke up Katelyn and Tyler and loaded them up, and started looking for him too. We started calling friends and neighbors close by, and nothing. (Just a side note, Austin isn't even allowed to play in the front yard unless I'm out there, and he is terrified of dogs, so I know he wouldn't just go into anyone's house...he's been taught about strangers, and he's a very smart kid.)
Anyway, I thought about places that he knows how to get to.....my mom's (I thought unlikely, because it's 10 miles away), his school (again, about 8 miles), his baseball practice field....so I start driving to those places. I first drove in the direction of my moms house, and went as far as where I could see Jeff's office, thinking that it hadn't been long enough for him to have gotten that far on foot....turned around, drove to his baseball practice field, then drove to his school. No where. Then my mom called, and she was in Gilbert at my sister's house, and I asked her and my dad to come help me look. They drove in from Gilbert, and we all searched about another 40 minutes. By now, I am freaking out. Jeff called the police, and 2 minutes later got a call from an officer that had just picked Austin up just north of Poston Butte High School. (Which is the way to my mom's house) 4.8 miles to be exact (I drove it with him to see). Such relief, that he had been found...SAFE!
Two cop cars drove up to my house about 15 minutes later, with Austin in the back of one of them, and he started bawling the second he saw me. He was scared to death! He said that when he was near the railroad tracks, that a cop stopped him, and a few minutes later a firetruck stopped him, and both asked what he was doing, and he told them that he was just out for a jog, getting some exercise. He didn't want to get into trouble. He told them both that he lived close by pointing to the circle cross ranch homes. So they just let him go. He said that 7 other cars had pulled over, during his run, but he ran away from them because he was scared of being kidnapped. So, luckily, the cop that stopped him near the high school, was smart enough to see that there were no homes around there, and that he was just an 8 year old kid....and stopped him, and questioned him, until he got the call about a missing boy in black and red shorts and shirt, and put 2 and 2 together. So thankful!
At first, my reaction was if I had just driven a little farther towards Jeff's office, I would have been the one to find him. Or if my mom would have driven from her house instead of my sisters, she would have found him. But, I see the Lord's wisdom in this. The Lord is merciful and all-knowing. He taught me, and Austin, and Jeff, and our other children, some very valuable lessons. We would not have learned the same lessons, if this had a different outcome. I was able to have a wonderful heart to heart with him when he came home. And made it clear to him that me and daddy NEVER want him to leave EVER! I was so grateful that he was home, I couldn't stop crying. I am so aware of ALL of the different possibilities of what "could have happened" in the 2 hours he was missing, and I will be forever thankful that all he suffered were some blisters on his feet from wearing his new shoes with no socks!
I am also so grateful to have such wonderful friends and neighbors, that were so caring, and supportive during this horrific event. As embarrassing as it was for me to lose my child, I was so happy to know that I could count on these people to help me. It was really hard for me to admit that I had handled that situation so poorly, and even though Austin made a bad decision to leave also, I felt the full weight and responsibility of him leaving. The really sad part is the Sunday before this happened, the talks in church were all on Being Temperate, and Schooling your feelings....so what does that say about me? I was thinking of those talks over and over in my mind when I was looking for Austin. Sad, I know. So judge me however you want, but know that I love my children more than anything, and want nothing more than to protect them from every danger in this world. And this was more terrifying than any other experience in my life BY FAR!